I have a fan. And I brought her home for the first time on Love Day. I {heart} her to bits. She's white, about five feet tall, very cool and makes a lot of noise in my bedroom at night. Here's a picture of her. Isn't she beautiful?
Happy Love Day everyone. (The picture's slightly disturbing... no?)
It looks like it's going to hit 40o today. I reckon it's nearly frying-an-egg-on-a-rock day. Since the hottest recorded temperature on earth happened on July 10th, 1913 in Death Valley, California, where the national weather service recorded 56.7o, it hardly feels as if the weather's trying. I'm a little disappointed. Australia, you used to be cool.
Warning: These pictures may cause children to cry.
The Australian approach to being out in the sun is cover-the-fuck-up. What I did was go out and get a Paddy tan (usually seen on the rolling plains of Southern Spain and the rainforests of Ibiza). Here's what my face looked like at the Big Day Out. Here's day one of the peeling... day two of the peeling. And finally one week later I'm finally back to normal.
Remember kids; always wear protection. On Monster Island everything will hear you scream (then come and see if you're tasty).
The first surprise in a very surprising day was the Magic Numbers. They were just awesome, but as I've mentioned, were the contributing factor to me looking like I have leprosy. I turned up at the stage just as the numbers were being sound-checked and I decided to stand at the front. Just before the band came on some big jittery mule pushed his way in front of me but I decided I was close enough anyway and I didn't really want to be right up against the crush barrier. During the really slow part in the middle of I see you, you see me (my favourite Numbers song) this same mule decided that this was a great time to slow-clap, all by himself, out of time with the band. He certainly deserved a kick, square in the box, at that point.
I stood out in the midday sun, in 35 degrees for the better part of an hour because there was only about 40 people there to see The Numbers and I thought the band might cry if I left for some shade. So I whipped out my factor 30 "total" sun block and braved it. Bad mistake; now the top of my head and forehead is the colour of roast chicken and is peeling in large chunks to reveal lovely, raw, pink skin underneath. The lesson here: always wear a hat in summertime Australia and, most importantly, don't feel sorry for The Magic Numbers. It hurts. And more people always turn up eventually.
Another surprise was how bad Franz Ferdinand were. The sound was very amateurish, every time there was singing the guitar volume would lower and Alexander's guitar keep going silent. I thought the five minute band intro in the middle of the set was a bit much. And the only real atmosphere was provided by the drunk couple who pushed their way in front of me (note the running theme). The guy kept jumping into me and rubbing off me in a rather disconcerting way. So in the vein of disgruntled concert goers everywhere I began to push him every time he came near me. The guy next to me kept elbowing him too and we had quite a satisfying game of crowd tennis while I was cursing myself about not going to see Soulwax or the amazing Cut Copy
My last great surprise was The Mars Volta. The surprise was that I expected something completely different. Let me put it this way: They're not your father's band (unless your father's band is a 60's, experimental jazz rock acid house fusion concept freeform improvisation band). They were so good I couldn't believe it. The songs didn't really have any beginning or end; there was a lot of free improvisation. Cedric's voice and Omar's whaling guitar was so intense that me and Mike and all the drunk people just sat there at the end having to mentally gear ourselves up to talk again. I don't know anything about pop music but I know what I like.
As you can imagine, the last place I wanted to be after the Volta was dancing around with a bunch of glo-stick heaving drugged out hippys at 2 Many DJs. I went anyway. When we got over to the stage I did manage to catch the end of Sonic Animation and they encored with the now legendary Theophilus Thistler. On stage was two fans dressed up in big fluffy animal suits and some other guy they robbed from work, dressed as the energizer bunny.
2 Many DJs were tight and funny as always. It started out with Franz Ferdinand and ended with Salt 'n' Pepa and touched on Madonna, Aphex Twin and the Higher State of Consciousness tune (that I hadn't heard in years), among others.
There'll be some pics and a new photo essay up in the next few days so keep watching.
As of today I've been in Australia for 112 days. Which, as you all know, means it's been 120 days since I last worked. One. Hundred. And. Twenty. Now, I think right now it would be appropriate to use some wise words to back up my position.
It's always better on holiday,
So much better on holiday,
That's why we only work when,
We need the money.
Jacqueline by Franz Ferdinand | Lyric Source
With that in mind, it's come to the point where I need the money. So, it's also come time for me to sell my soul. I can finish with that tantalising tidbit, keep you guessing so you'll have to come back. As is traditional I'd like to end this cliffhanger with the now famous words: To Be Continued...
Here's some pictures from Australia day. They're a little shakey. Note the giant insect!
I have a bebo profile now.
And then I did this. Just because.
